.:how did we get here:.

Mood : b o r e d . . .
Weather : fine
Time : 8:23pm
Listening to : Decode by Paramore

Whoooaaaaaa,,, man i've always thought my blog would die in peace soon haha. Well let's just recap what has been going on ever since uni started :)

Hmm,, first, i had butterflies in my stomach when i went for my first day of uni class in ucsi ;__;. Im always afraid no one will like me becuz of me being such annoying. Why? Cuz i always approach to people than they approach to me so to think back of it, it's scary and thank god they'd loved me that way :DDD. Im quite blessed to have found quek then chin ni as my new buddies. They have such great awesome-ness karma and it definitely awesomeful to have them around. Chin ni, pls dun cry of reading this and quek, i know what u're gonna say xDD

Ok, moving on, i've met quite a few unique people in terms of good and bad. I'm sure u've guessed the bad ones will be the people whose attitude is not even worth than my own gosddamn vomit. Yup, u've guessed it.

I love some of my music lecturers, cuz they're just plain hilarious especially my aural class lecturer xDD lol. Oh, and and and I'd always loved to see my seniors in music practicing their songs around, it's so cool like someone put a radio and there goes music playing :DDD

Malaysian studies, oh fark i dunno why i have to study them. Thank god the exam paper ended yesterday and it definitely made me felt somehow less burden xD


So i think that's it, i have two more papers to which is gonna this friday. My office application and music theory. And then im free~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ xD yea babeeeyyy first sem gone baby gone!!!!!!! ^_^

Hah! right now im still not in a mood to revise yet hhaa im so lazy.. like a lazy cat ^^

::cuteness =3 from deviantart::

Just now, my mum roared that my hair is very very long (according to her and to me, i also think it's too long for me) so she 's bringing me back to my fav salon for a haircut next week. Hmm,, which brings me a new idea *grins* what hairstyle should i get this time?

well, i'll never get a perm for sure. It's too expensive and my mum would say i look way matured for age so it's only a simple hair cut. lolx


I did browsed some haircuts pics and found alot that im quite interested.

.:my first choice =| :.

.:im also thinking of this kinda emo punky.... suggestion pls?:.

.: say does this fits me too?:.

.:im thinking :| :.
.:*thinking real hard*:.

Gah, i cant choose but it's either mainly emo or slightly punk. My mum was too busy to hear my suggestion that she would just say "your wish" lololx and whaddaya know....?? *chuckles* i was re-thinking and i thought let's go to a whole new level ^o^!

.:hehehe ^^:.

.:not bad leh ^__^ i kinda love this one:.

.:i would love to..*hearts*:.

I showed my mum those 'extreme' pics and she smacked my head. T_T sigh fat chance man, fat chance.


dun worry, u'll know the result by next week, i hope it suits me, cuz my hairstylist at my fav salon will keep talking ot hair and face shape. Till now, i dunno what's my face shape O.O lolx

but for sure, im going for punk or emo.

but i think it's mainly..emo xD

*thinks harder*

ok i gotta go already.. im all stink-ed up and-

whooooopssssieeeee xD

hey not my fault, she hypnotized me and then took my virgin away ;3

*peace*

P/S- Michelle, u're back!! T___T me misss 'm'eally 'm'eally much meuu muooowww?? T__T

.:GOD:.

MUM!!

GET WELL SOON!!! =(
BE STRONG!!!!!!!


*prays*

.:When They Know It's Risky,...They Try to Stop Me:.

Maybe my talent is not a talent afterall?
Maybe mine is just plain zero. I don't blame that.
Is my decision really risky?
Sure enough I do understand it is but..
Seriously, what are you people trying to tell me?
That I'm not suitable for what I'm planning to do?
I might not be having a bright future?
Or maybe you think I can't be successful next time..?
You guys kept discussing of this matter until it's like a never ending debate.
Concern? yes I know. But can't I least try?
I live once in the world.
How would you guys know if you haven't try and it's not wrong rite?
I know it bothers you guys that I'm trying to take the odd path.
But it's not that it's never been taken but it's just not happening much in my place.
Surely everyone even my best friends thought I would pursue on something else.
Thx for ur concern I don't like it.
To me, "that" is not the one for me.
Cuz those jobs you see around the world is mostly pleasing people.
What if people doesnt like it? They have their sense of style and so have mine too.
That's wasting effort but this is life. It has no rights or wrong.
And I don't like it. It's not fix.


So as my own decision.

But will I gain respect from that if I take the road most taken?
Will I be ever able to compete with others and get what I desire?
It's obviously I'm always lacking of confidence.
Cuz I don't like to show it as I thought it's much more disrespectful to me.

And C'mon I never like teaching! For Holy's Sake, sop urging me to do it. I'm not a coward. I just don't like to teach. HELLO!? OPINIONS!!!You can't expect everyone to LIKE teaching.

Can't I just working something else? Maybe if I ever graduate, I can teach for part time.
Maybe my ambition is tough to achieve. I agree. A job which is not consistence. Big risk.

And I ain't rich and I FUCKING GET THE PICTURE!! You think I don't know that?
You think I'm not scared I won't be successful!?
C'mon of course I know. CUZ IT'S MY LIFE IM GOING THROUGH AND I"LL BE DOING IT ON MY OWN.NOT YOU!!!

FUCK.

Cuz maybe I thought for 14 years of learning it since young, I can't say no cuz I felt meaningless.


Look I don't even wanna give up. I rather die if you ask me to take something else. But I do have confidence on what I'm gonna take. But then again..though i don't have it much right now,,

I will try my best to proof that by MUSIC, YOU FUCKERS WILL GIVE RESPECT TO ME AND I'M NOT TURNING BACK CUZ I'M TAKING THAT FUCKING SUBJECT, UNDERSTAND !!!???






No, I'm not scolding anyone. Really. It's not the people I know.
It's just that sometimes I kept hearing these voices telling me in my mind when there's no one around in ur room saying....

"No Siew Mun, don't take it. It's not popular here. Don't waste ur time blablaba.."
"Aren't you good at art? Why don't you take graphics?"
"Your talent isn't good enough. It could be dangerous."


Fuck you, I KNEW THAT EARLIER!!

But it's just in my dreams that i'll be hearing this often. People it's just a dream and me who thinks too much.

God is playing some games with me. He creates me for a purpose. Hardships is what he would give to me at first before rewards come in second. I accept it. No, i'm not talking religious here. Even if you don't believe in God, in life, there's roads which are either smooth or bumpy and it's a test of ur ability how well enough can u manage..
Even if I couldnt succeed, it won't matter cuz practice makes perfect.


And I really believe that,
Without music, it's even meaningless for the creation of voicebox or sound.
Without music, there won't be humans in this world.



Think about it.
You think I'm talking fucking crap.
So fuck, leave my fucking blog if you don't give a fuck to me of what I'm typing here.
In the end, just fuck urself till you either fucking get it or not.
Otherwise, just fuck leave me alone cuz it's my fucking funeral.
I'm fucking trying to help and save music.





Well got dinner tonight, finally. Wont be getting rotten at home for christmas celebration.
And yes, wine is my best solution for the frustration.


But i'm still not Okay =)




sorry for the violation but fuck, who cares?
*slam on the door*

.:in the end... :.

So everyone knows the end is near as we're hours away from sitting our final exam in high school-SPM. No, im not trying to scare ppl. Im also scared ok? but wht im trying to say here is that the last thing we can do at the end of the day is to give urself one minute and close ur eyes while crossing ur both hands and pray.. yes..just pray....for success, wishing you'll be able to answer the ques and stuff,, to ur own God =)

*pics from deviantart.com*

I hope this song can at least cheer you up or calm u down, i dunno. I hope it works.. xD

and last but not least, Su Lee!!!!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY!!! =DDDD
God bless you and again all the best in ur upcomin SPM!!
Hopefully you'll pass with full A's =D ok, WOMAN!?? xDDD

*peace*
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*prays*

ALL THE BEST PPL IN UR SPM =)!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!